There was a dance party tonight at Big Chicks, supposedly in the theme of American Gladiators but this was not especially in evidence. Hot Girls was really a much more prevalent theme.
So let's make a confession. It's not going to be long because I'm tired and I don't especially feel like belaboring the point. I'm not queer anymore. Girls are really attractive. I saw some girls tonight I would have liked to buy drinks and get to know better. And by get to know better, I mean get to know what they look like naked. But I didn't want to get anyone's number and see what they're doing next Friday. I'm not really prepared to have sex without the chance of dating, and I don't really want to date girls, so that's pretty much the end of girls. I've never been especially happy saying I'm bisexual, and I don't even LIKE the word queer, so we're done with it. Straight Dorian. Dorian is straight.
And I have to admit, I don't know that that's true. Straight is really binding and I know this sounds ridiculous in the same sortof bent as reverse racism is ridiculous, but I feel a certain amount of pressure to not be straight. Saying I'm straight seems disrespectful to the women I've been with in the past and close-minded to the sexiness of all individuals.
I don't know. Chatting up girls is hard. Ten times as hard as chatting up guys and there are way more guys. Of course, in the room tonight the only ones to chat up WERE girls, but try doing it in a dance club. Maybe if I moved to Northampton and my choices were girls or a hermitage, I would get over the learning curve of chatting up girls and getting them off and it would be great. Or maybe I'm straight and it's ok to stay in my penis comfort zone. Even if I'm not completely straight, it's ok to say, having kids is really important to me, and it will be a lot easier if I marry a dude, so maybe let's just go with the flow and date in the bigger easier penis pool.
On the other hand, at the very moment, we're nowhere with nobody of any gender, orientation or fashion sense. Let's just get into gradschool.